Build Your Tribe
Much has been written about the less than supportive behavior- sometimes downright nasty behavior- that women have experienced from other women. Whether this has happened in the workplace, at the PTO, at yoga class or at the local coffee shop, many women have felt unsupported by their own. Those who have experienced the nasty behavior are likely to carry that experience with them into future interactions with other women. They may be hesitant to go out of their way to support another woman and may shy away from female friendships.
It doesn’t have to be this way!
Just this week, I was awestruck by the pure joy that comes from truly connecting with other women.
A work colleague and I met for dinner and barely spent any time talking about our jobs. We connected talking about what was going on in our lives, our families, our relationships, and our plans for the future.
We certainly enjoyed the cocktails and the delicious meal, however, what led to genuine connection was that we listened attentively and shared openly. She supported and encouraged me as I talked about pursuing a new goal and her support was tangible. I walked away with an invitation to join a book club and the promise to make a professional connection. More importantly, I walked away with a deeper friendship with my colleague.
On another evening, my church-formed Life Group met for a casual dinner. This group is comprised of 10 women of varying ages, ethnicities, occupations and educational backgrounds. We came together because of one similarity- our faith. I can confidently say that, were it not for this commonality, it is likely that I never would’ve met and/or befriended these women.
We came together as strangers but have become family. These women shower me with hugs, encourage me and support me in whatever I need. My friend, Linda, texted the group after dinner to say, “My heart was refreshed seeing you all. Can’t wait till the next time…hugs!” My heart was refreshed as well.
On an early morning, in the 06:00 hour, I ran into a neighbor who was also getting in her morning walk. We took the opportunity to walk together and share updates from the last few months. We talked about her recent travels and my job transition. As a retired Executive, she took special interest in my job transition and suggested that she connect me with some of her former colleagues who might be able to support my efforts. I, literally, walked away in awe at how a woman I had met simply walking the neighborhood would go out of her way to support me.
Through these interactions and similar interactions over a lifetime, I have been encouraged, supported and loved by a tribe of women. They bring joy to my life. Because of these women, I am confident that I will succeed at whatever life throws at me.
Ladies, regardless of your past experiences, you too can experience the support and joy that comes from a tribe of women. It starts with putting yourself out there. Initiate a conversation. Go for a walk. Attend a new meeting/class. Be open, be genuine, reserve judgment and support the women around you.
You will be rewarded and you will build your tribe!